Stocking Face #6

TRICK OR TREAT BY YOUR ASTROLOGICAL SIGN
Aries pushes the others aside to get to the door first.
Taurus will only eat the finest of Swiss chocolates.
Gemini goes around the neighborhood once, changes costumes and goes around again.
Cancer stays at home and gives candy to the other trick-or-treaters.
Leos plan their costume for months, then won't go out because someone else had the same idea.
Virgo wears a neatly-pressed suit and tells everyone they're a bookkeeper.
Libra is still standing in front of the closet trying to decide on a costume.
Scorpio isn't in it for the candy.
Sagittarius will manage to wander to the next town.
Capricorn makes a list of all the houses that give good candy and the optimal route to take.
Aquarius builds the costume out of spare flashlights and spends all night tinkering when it shorts.
Pisces skips the whole thing to compose poetry to the Moon.

Stocking Face #5

Top 10 Signs you're too old for trick or treating!
10. You ask to use the washroom every two houses.
9. You lose your teeth bobbing for apples at Halloween parties.
8. You get winded from knocking on the door.
7. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
6. You ask for high fiber candy only.
5. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
4. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
3. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
2. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
1. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

Stocking Face #4

What do you call a monster with no neck?  Lost neck monster.  

Stocking Face #3

Another funny stocking face.  I sewed some pearl buttons for eyes and some embroidery thread for hair.  Sweet dimpled face for Halloween

What do you get when you cross an owl with a witch?

An ugly bird that just doesn't give a hoot!

Stocking Face #2

Why did Miss Witchy consult an astrologer?  To find out her horror-scope.  Why was Miss Witchy a bad traveler?  She always got broom-sick.  Two's enough for now (probably one too many).

Stocking Face #1

An old piece called "Bad Hair Day"- A nylon stocking stuffed with some batting, then sewn with some embroidery floss and a darning needle.   The unfinished back below.